"Yes, Ian, what is it my son?"

"Well, it's just that I sort of thought we were actually going to the UGG BOOTS Sale UK and we would only have a barn owl if someone came for us. That's what you said on the radio, wasn't it?"

"What? Are you taking the piss?"

"No, Dave, not at all..."

"Let me get this straight, you want to go up to Manchester, go see the football game and then come back UGG Bailey Button Triplet Boots to London without so much as raising our voice – are you a fackin' nonce or what?"

"No... just... it's a big game and I thought it would be good to see it – obviously we can break a couple of windows or summat..."

"Break a couple of windows? Well, listen up to old Gary Glitter 'ere. We're going up there to break some fackin' 'eads, not give those Manc glaziers a bonus day ... are you off you fackin' rocker?"

"Actually, Dave... I wouldn't mind seeing the game either – thing is, I've got a pony on Betfair so... couldn't we just do both?"

"I seem to have convened some conference of nonce 'ere. Fine, you all go see the UGG Classic Mini Boots and I'll start off on the Manc wanks and when you get some bottle you can come and join me.